Mitt Romney’s Speech…On Truth Serum

Geez Louise, Republicans, what do I have to do to get you people to vote for me? Is it really the Mormon thing? Look, I really don’t believe in anything! So, please don’t hold the Mormon thing against me; I really wish I was born a regular Christian it would poll so much better but […]

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Romney Wins Florida: Handsome White Non-Charismatic Men Rejoice

When the results of Florida Primary came in that Romney won, white handsome non-charismatic men nodded their head with relief and joy. The next morning they listened to their ‘Let’s Get Moving’ mix for their morning jog; never did Huey Lewis and/or Nickelback sound so eloquent, at least it had not for the last few […]

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Dear Republican Primary Voters

I’m already pissed, that I’m writing this. I fucking hate politics, there were so many better topics I wanted to write about like how hot Kat Dennings is on ‘2 Broke Girls’ and write a love poem using flowery langauge to tell her how her sharp wit matches her gorgeous curves, but you stupid jerks (except for you […]

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