Christoph’s Top 3 Craft Books On Writing & Other Pretentious Bullshit

Because I am so prolific and brilliant; I decided to share my writing secrets which is really just reading the hell out of 3 craft books and talking to this director dude at a diner for brunch on Saturdays. Character & Preimse http://www.amazon.com/Art-Dramatic-Writing-Creative-Interpretation/dp/1163161586/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1347635359&sr=1-1&keywords=the+art+of+dramatic+writing+its+basis+in+the+creative+interpretation+of+human+motives This book is great. It is a keep in the bathroom kind […]

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Jaleel White’s (Urkel) Agent Pitches Him Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus

Setting: A posh coffee shop, in L.A.; Jaleel White aka Steve Urkel walks in to meet his agent Josh Weinstein. Agent: Jaleel. Look at you. Handsome as ever. How is life?” Jaleel: Mother fucking hard. The royalty checks they are not enough more. Why are we at this place? I hate this place. Agent: What […]

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Transcript of The New Jersey JuggalosB4Hoes Chat Room

ThatIsNotClownMakeUpOnYourFaceItsMyCum: Hey fags, stop sucking each other’s dicks and listen the fuck up! The greatest musical act in the galaxy is coming to Jersey. That is right cockwads! the Insane fucking Clown Posse! Ever since I saw it posted on their MySpace Page I have been waking up with a raging boner. SlimShadySucksDicksJuggalo4ForLife: New Jersey […]

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Pitchfork Indie Rock Intern Interviews Tyga About ‘Rack City’

*Author’s Note, if you are unfamiliar with the awesome crunkness of the rap artist Tyga please watch his video Rack City. If you have already, watch it again, enjoy the booties and then enjoy this leaked interview between him and Pitchfork. Pitchfork: Thank you Tyga for coming, we are glad you are taking the time […]

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Hustle & Fly: The Story Of Pasquale The Pigeon Pimp.

Bitches ain’t shit but hoes & breadsticks. That is on the real, mother fuckers; I’ve been pigeon pimping since a nigga’s feathers turned red. Shit…while all these other herb birds are hanging in the park shitting on statues I’m flying to the back alley behind Nino’s pizzeria on St. Marks. It’s dem breadsticks’ yo, my […]

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5 Theories Why Men Do Not Throw Away The Toilet Paper Roll

Through great research, meditation, and personal behavior I have garnered the top 5 theories why men do not throw away the toilet paper roll–this has no relation or correlation to paper towels. Theory 1: Behavioral Psychology: Forgetfulness Men are lazy and in the bathroom we are focused other stuff, specifically, things on our phone: ESPN, […]

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The Costco Couple

The Coscto Couple helping each other out, giving shoulder rubs while they wait, switching lines so they can get home sooner, cook dinner, have Saturday night sex, and drift off falling to sleep to Saturday Night Live. They’re both nice & attractive, making sure to buy full stocks of fish oil & skin moisturizer next […]

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Christoph’s Post-Coitious Etiquette For Men

SEX UNDER 2 MINUTES: Apology, Get Cup of Water, Back Massage You owe her an apology and then you need to get her a cup of water. You did not even earn the right to spoon and rest in silence. After she drinks her water in disappointment you must give her a back massage and […]

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Wet Pillow Writes Emo Song While Listening to CNN

If not familiar with the musical power house Wet Pillow please click on the link below to learn the origin of the greatest emo-band of Orlando, Florida. http://thepassionofthechristoph.com/2011/12/31/lets-start-a-band-in-2005-the-origin-of-wet-pillow/ In 2006, Wet Pillow smoked a bowl and left on the news trying to write a hit emo song…they never made it to the 2nd verse: Stephanie […]

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A Poem by The Montana Zionist Foundation

How do you solve the Israel-Palestine Conflict? A situation, no excuse me, a problem that gives power to that fretful word Quagmire, no, not the pervert from Family guy, a sticky situation. Israel had some damn good real estate agents. Land promised by God, then promised by the British. In a sense God was an […]

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