Jaleel White’s (Urkel) Agent Pitches Him Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus

Setting: A posh coffee shop, in L.A.; Jaleel White aka Steve Urkel walks in to meet his agent Josh Weinstein. Agent: Jaleel. Look at you. Handsome as ever. How is life?” Jaleel: Mother fucking hard. The royalty checks they are not enough more. Why are we at this place? I hate this place. Agent: What […]

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Transcript of The New Jersey JuggalosB4Hoes Chat Room

ThatIsNotClownMakeUpOnYourFaceItsMyCum: Hey fags, stop sucking each other’s dicks and listen the fuck up! The greatest musical act in the galaxy is coming to Jersey. That is right cockwads! the Insane fucking Clown Posse! Ever since I saw it posted on their MySpace Page I have been waking up with a raging boner. SlimShadySucksDicksJuggalo4ForLife: New Jersey […]

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Pitchfork Indie Rock Intern Interviews Tyga About ‘Rack City’

*Author’s Note, if you are unfamiliar with the awesome crunkness of the rap artist Tyga please watch his video Rack City. If you have already, watch it again, enjoy the booties and then enjoy this leaked interview between him and Pitchfork. Pitchfork: Thank you Tyga for coming, we are glad you are taking the time […]

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Hustle & Fly: The Story Of Pasquale The Pigeon Pimp.

Bitches ain’t shit but hoes & breadsticks. That is on the real, mother fuckers; I’ve been pigeon pimping since a nigga’s feathers turned red. Shit…while all these other herb birds are hanging in the park shitting on statues I’m flying to the back alley behind Nino’s pizzeria on St. Marks. It’s dem breadsticks’ yo, my […]

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5 Theories Why Men Do Not Throw Away The Toilet Paper Roll

Through great research, meditation, and personal behavior I have garnered the top 5 theories why men do not throw away the toilet paper roll–this has no relation or correlation to paper towels. Theory 1: Behavioral Psychology: Forgetfulness Men are lazy and in the bathroom we are focused other stuff, specifically, things on our phone: ESPN, […]

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Wet Pillow Writes Emo Song While Listening to CNN

If not familiar with the musical power house Wet Pillow please click on the link below to learn the origin of the greatest emo-band of Orlando, Florida. http://thepassionofthechristoph.com/2011/12/31/lets-start-a-band-in-2005-the-origin-of-wet-pillow/ In 2006, Wet Pillow smoked a bowl and left on the news trying to write a hit emo song…they never made it to the 2nd verse: Stephanie […]

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A Poem by The Montana Zionist Foundation

How do you solve the Israel-Palestine Conflict? A situation, no excuse me, a problem that gives power to that fretful word Quagmire, no, not the pervert from Family guy, a sticky situation. Israel had some damn good real estate agents. Land promised by God, then promised by the British. In a sense God was an […]

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Rex Ryan’s Sexy Love Poem To His Wife’s Feet

They’re fucking beautiful. Size Five just like I like. Better feet than Vinateri has in the fourth quarter. The way you paint those sexy fuckers gold like the color of the Super Bowl rings Tebow’s gonna get me. I fucking want them even more than those damn rings. They taste better than Buddy’s burgers. When […]

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A Shark’s Tale: What Happened at The Edgewater Hotel

*Author’s note. Here is the mud shark’s side of the story of the Shark Episode of Led Zeppelin. If the reader is not familiar with the story with the story please click on the link and familiarize yourself before reading enjoy. ” title=”The Led and The Shark “> How’s it hanging dudes and duderinas; I […]

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Ozzie Guillen’s Rough Draft Apology

Ok you mother fuckers; I fucking sorry. I got interview by Jew magazine and they tricky. That why Sandy Koufax good pitcher, the Jews throw good curveballs. They fool me into saying stupid shit. I no love Castro. Castro he like opposite of the Cubs he always winning, that what I mean. I like winner. […]

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