Christoph’s Post-Coitious Etiquette For Men

SEX UNDER 2 MINUTES: Apology, Get Cup of Water, Back Massage You owe her an apology and then you need to get her a cup of water. You did not even earn the right to spoon and rest in silence. After she drinks her water in disappointment you must give her a back massage and […]

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Chris Isaak’s ‘Wicked Game’ Music Video Was Very Misleading

This video screwed me so bad in the love department. I saw this at 12 and it gave me a well-sized boner but even bigger romantic expectations. In innocence, I watched this video while eating my grandma’s delicious home-made pasta & I just assumed all dudes named Chris will meet hot chicks in tropical settings […]

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Cowabunga: A Reworking of Mona Lisa

As someone who just wrote ‘The Infinite Jest of Picking Porn Titles’ I can support this low & high art mixing of Mona Lisa The Suicide Girl. Though I think which ever Ninja Turtle Artist did this would not support this piece, I think this is artistic evolution in the right direction. The Ninja Turtle […]

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It’s My Blog & I’ll Promote My Band If I Want To

What up Christophians, something different for today. If you read the title I’d prefer if you sing it like the 60’s Motown song that was featured in the bad ginger kid movie. As many of you know I am a dual artist: writer & musician. It is kind of awesome and it kind of sucks. […]

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Ozzie Guillen’s Rough Draft Apology

Ok you mother fuckers; I fucking sorry. I got interview by Jew magazine and they tricky. That why Sandy Koufax good pitcher, the Jews throw good curveballs. They fool me into saying stupid shit. I no love Castro. Castro he like opposite of the Cubs he always winning, that what I mean. I like winner. […]

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Why Did Peyton Manning Pick Denver: A Psychological Sports Essay

Peyton picking the Broncos over The Niners is where I need to put on my sports psychology hat. Does Peyton want to win a championship? Of course and the Niners were clearly the best option for him to achieve that goal: Great coach, great defense, great tight end, a receiver who though a douchebag (isn’t […]

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Romney Wins Florida: Handsome White Non-Charismatic Men Rejoice

When the results of Florida Primary came in that Romney won, white handsome non-charismatic men nodded their head with relief and joy. The next morning they listened to their ‘Let’s Get Moving’ mix for their morning jog; never did Huey Lewis and/or Nickelback sound so eloquent, at least it had not for the last few […]

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Dear Jonathan Franzen (Free Kindle If You Read This)

http://tinyurl.com/7ojjfcc ‘Ebooks are not for serious readers’ Look Jonathan, I like ya, and for the most part I am on your team; you write great literary novels-a goal I want to achieve one day. ‘Freedom’ (3rd act issues aside) was really fucking good, but dude, come on, it’s easy to say shit like this when […]

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