Rex Ryan’s Sexy Love Poem To His Wife’s Feet

They’re fucking beautiful.
Size Five just like I like.
Better feet than Vinateri
has in the fourth quarter.
The way you paint those
sexy fuckers gold like the
color of the Super Bowl rings
Tebow’s gonna get me. I fucking
want them even more than those
damn rings. They taste better
than Buddy’s burgers. When
Your feet are on my thighs
it’s better than beating Brady.
I will Belichick you with my
eyes to get you to take your
fucking shoes off and get that
ass closer. That’s right. I will
touch each toe, like a trainer;
stretching them out and then I’m
gonna run a fucking 4 40 on them
with my tongue. My tongue is Revis
and your toes are the receiver. You
can move but my tongue is staying
on those fuckers. I am the best. No
one can touch those feet any better.
I got confidence; I will lead with
my tongue and not be limp or soft
like Sanchez. I will blitz those
toes and close each gap with my
fucking tongue. I will get ten
sacks; there will be no Gholston;
I will always provide the pressure.

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