Ozzie Guillen’s Rough Draft Apology

Ok you mother fuckers; I fucking sorry. I got interview by Jew magazine and they tricky. That why Sandy Koufax good pitcher, the Jews throw good curveballs. They fool me into saying stupid shit. I no love Castro. Castro he like opposite of the Cubs he always winning, that what I mean. I like winner. Castro; he win for 60 years almost as long as Cubs lost. That all.

I have gringo word for it… fucking…mother fucking empathy; I fucking managed the White Sox near Southside it’s fucking worst than Cuba so I understand what is like to run shit hole and people wanting to kick you out. I know. I in good home now, I like, so I apologize. Miami good, Castro bad.

Cubans are sensitive, I know this on personal–I fucking Cuban girl right now on the side, and she no like it in the culo. Sensitive people. I good man; so I no ask her to do it.

The Cubanos can be putas, but I like your food and Marlins better than Southside. I like you Cubano, I like Miami. My familia and me own DVD’s of ‘Que Pasa USA’, we watch and eat Plantains. It good. I know from show Castro Bad. Ozzie no stupid mother fucker.

But you Cubanos are fucking stupid bendahoes, so I know I must apologize…so, I tell you I sorry Miami; so don’t be mother fucking maracones and take my apology. If not you no get no World Series; Dolphin year be bad, you need my mother fucking Venezuelan ass. Ok. Apology done.

Gracias,
Ozzie Guillen

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