Titties and Trays

I sit there in the college cafeteria, eating shitty pizza, watching the retarded boy; he is working during the lunch shift, darting around the stale white floors, picking up plates and trays. MTVU is playing on all eight TV screens and he loves every stupid song, but not as much as he loves this job–being present in every movement, his eyes always full of purpose.

When the music video ends, the TV screen shows scenes from Spring Break. The young man’s Zen mastery of carrying trays comes to a stop as 3 bikini girls scream. He looks up from a dirty table, smiles, and says to the screen, “Look at the titties, they bouncing; I love titties, they are good.”

Giggles from the freshmen and looks of embarrassment from the grad students filled the cafeteria, until the giggles stopped and the freshmen realized it’s wrong to laugh–their faces falling like dominos into solemn stones. But I did not fall in line and a smile slid out watching a happy boy who got to say what all the other boys were thinking and for a brief moment I felt joyous envy.

Sometimes restraint can be suffocating and manners and mannerism can mask our truest moments, but he was free from all of that and it made my smile expand thinking: maybe there is balance, or a grand idealistic ideal of justice; isn’t he blessed to not care what people think? How many of us can say that and really mean it?

Out of all the people in that cafeteria, who chugged their second cup of caffeine to take some pop quiz, all living for the future, living for security, living for their parents, living to worry, wearing the times on their eyes—all of us except him—wearing only his own face.

The truth is he will love this job more than any of us will love ours. He is not driven by expectations or ambitions. He is just alive, living for titties and trays.

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4 Comments ↓

4 Comments on “Titties and Trays”

  1. Eric Alagan January 16, 2012 at 3:04 am #

    Envy him not and certainly not pity yourself as we all run our own race…he has found his starting bloke…we need to find ours. Check this out > http://wp.me/p1YE83-if
    Peace, Eric

  2. Sean January 16, 2012 at 3:58 pm #

    I like the sad truth of our western society you extrapolate from a single observation. The first two paragraphs seem unnecessarily harsh and a little contradictory. I wasn’t sure if the kid was really retarded or if the writer was just critical of the worker the way he was of the pizza and videos. I did feel envious of the lack of self consciousness. Nice job!

  3. pozycjonowanie krakow January 27, 2012 at 6:28 pm #

    I like this blog very much, Its a rattling nice situation to read and receive information. “It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows.” by Epictetus.

  4. David aka steve February 19, 2012 at 6:55 am #

    Well done

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